Absent Apple Impulse
by lighter-kun
Summary: No apples? No good! Ryuk's going crazy and he's going to make Light and L lose their minds in the cell that night too. [ humanform!Ryuk x Light, what. ] [ KiraMemories!Light x L ]


**author's note:**

LOOK AT RYUK'S ORIGINAL CHARACTER DESIGN!

It's right there in the title pic for this and that is what spawned such a fic wahaha!

Before you feel this is ooc, just think - they've been confined for days, they'd have to be weirdos if they were still okay and acting rationally at this point in time right? lol.

...now please read le fic as I run away into the darkness of the night...

* * *

_**» **_absent apple impulse

**I came to bring the pain**  
**hardcore from the brain**  
**Is it real? **  
**Is it really real?**  
**Let me know it's real**  
**If it's really real**  
**Fuck it up and KILL ONE**  
**_Give it to me raw!_**

* * *

Light is a God but here in the cold dimly lit cell, he's nothing more than L's prisoner.

It's only a little over two weeks in confinement and he still sits on the floor, doing absolutely nothing.

His back's against the wall as he glares at the only furniture in the room. He wonders if the sad excuse for a bed supposed to be comfortable? To direct anger at an inanimate object is proof he's reaching his limit. Yes, he can just feel his sanity slipping.

He has the urge to childishly flick L off via camera but he can't even do that. His hands are bound behind his back, cuffed together with cold harsh metal. He can't help but think it as further confirmation that L is some sort of sadistic bastard. The specifically requested methods for the confinement seem like a scene right out of a sick BDSM fantasy from the detective's brilliant but perverse mind.

To have complete control over him like this…

_Injustice within justice_.

Light's still glaring but he doesn't see the bed anymore just the _vision_ in his head – to be God of the new world, create his perfect utopia, and the ways he could bring L down where he belongs, below him –

"_Apples_…"

The low crooning moan of Ryuk is the only sound in the cell. Light thinks its the beginning of another demented apple murmurings. He's used to it by now, but it's still annoying to death.

"Blood red… sweet inside and out…"

Annoyance is all over Light's face but Ryuk is unaware or maybe just doesn't care. The lack of apples has the whole death god's nonexistence feeling absolutely dry, but his mind is _melting._ It drips wet with mouth-watering thoughts on the forbidden fruit. Truly forbidden now.

"Fruity goodness… so delicious… apples… Fuck, _juicy…_ Light-o…!"

Light acknowledges his name and doesn't appreciate how Ryuk seems to think its perfectly fine to say it right after a profanity word for sex, a descriptive word for yummy, and_ in that order_. It creates a disturbing mental image and Light can't even shout a desperate much needed _shut the fuck up_.

He glares instead, channels all the irritation he can into a fiery amber gaze.

Ryuk remains indifferent, still chants, but meets Light's eyes with just as much darkness. No apples! It's _torture!_ Technically, he doesn't _need_ the apple… but it doesn't stop his relentless cravings. To take something he enjoys away for this long? It's just asking for deprivation triggered actions and isn't it all this human's fault in the first place?

The death god can't take much more - he's reaching his own _limits__…_

If there's something gods of death _do_ need in their nonexistence it's their capacity to hold onto their unreal power with a stable mindset. But now? He's thoroughly destitute, emotionally and physically, just crashing down._  
_

It's a well known fact in the shinigami realm that such a declining state of being boils down to a _recession_ of sorts.

It won't be long until he's forced back to transgress_…_ to his original form.

_Every god of death was a human at one point. _

Ryuk's aware Light doesn't know that and decides it a perfect time to indulge the human in another one of the many secrets of the shinigami.

He pushes himself off the barred cell wall, no longer in a pathetic sprawled position of long limbs. He stalks toward Light, sways slightly, disoriented. He looks insane. He probably is by now, but he's knows he's not the only one.

"Light-o…"

He moans it with theatrical sorrow, high pitched at the end to project desperation. Melodramatic, but it's all real emotion.

"Look, I know you can't talk to me right now but…" He lets out a long sigh. "_I'm losing it_. Not even going to lie, but another day locked in here without a _beautiful apple_ and I am tempted to write YOUR name in the death note, just to get on with my unlife…"

Indignation is on Light's face the moment the death threat sinks into his head and he narrows his eyes, offended.

Ryuk just grins ominously and continues.

"No need to look at me like that. You _are_ the only human I somewhat respect in this world, remember? You really think I wanna get rid of you like that... not what I want Light-o…" He pauses for dramatic effect, shakes his head. "No... the only thing I crave right now – just absolutely _need_ right now - is a sweet taste…"

Light looks like he's about to tune the death god out because it sounds like another love apple speech. Ryuk decides to get to the point while he's got the attention. Talking is tiring anyway.

"Thing is – losing energy ain't so good for a death god…you know?"

Light feels impatient because how the hell would he know a damn thing about shinigami's in the first place…? The speech's getting annoying –

"When a death god grows weak like this, then it's all bad... their godlike power _decreases_ and when it reaches the bottom… well - let's just say they've got no choice but to revert to **human form**."

As he delivers the hook, a look of disbelief, suspicion, and curiosity flash in Light's eyes.

Ryuk's perpetual leer grows impossibly wider. He directs it at Light with dark amusement, doesn't even go on, just lets the look linger.

Light kicks the bed, a sign for Ryuk to get the hell on with whatever he's saying already. The simple statement raises so many questions in his head and he wants answers.

"Oh come on, Light-o. It's tiring for me to explain, I mean do you need _every_ detail? Want me to spell it out for you? Man, that's so like you though… eh, you kind of get off on getting things down on paper, don't you?"

He says it as a tease, just a joke, but Light takes it seriously. Is it an indirect jab at Light's god complex perhaps? Just what's Ryuk playing at?

Stupid Ryuk… leering at him like this - bothering him like this...

Light meets the demented gaze dead on, decides in his cynical mind the shinigami can pass for an ugly twisted version of the Cheshire cat. He even considers never sleeping again because he'll probably see it in his nightmares and he sees it enough of it already when he's wide awake.

"Whoa, that look again?"

Ryuk is beyond amused at little ol' Light trying to draw conclusions on things he cannot possibly understand. However, he's also bored with this, and it's not like he has a choice to remain in this form any longer. The death god is reaching the limits of his form. He doesn't really have a choice now so he's going to show Light the answer instead.

"I wonder what kind of look you'll have on your face after you see _this_."

He says it at the same time he lifts his claw-like fingers to his neck, grabbing at the skin just below his monstrous face. Light's eyes bulge at the display, as Ryuk's body is slowly engulfed by a dark ethereal mist. The last thing to go is his creepy smile and Light swallows hard in his throat.

It's a shocking display to anyone watching. The death god is after all peeling off his own skin…

Ryuk's deeply amused - life's no fun without a good scare, right?

He feels the change within seconds. His death god appearance is transforming… reverting back to how he looked when he was still human.

In seconds, the black skin is replaced with smooth moon-white flesh. His now human torso is bare and his lightly muscled stomach has stitches scattered at certain areas – he had been grotesquely torn apart upon his death. Some areas are a dark purple tint, the color of a fresh bruise, the other patches are an oblique sickly shade of blue.

Ryuk had been huge as a shinigami towering over the others, and in human form, he still looms - he's tall but _slender_ with wide bony shoulders leading down into a slim waist… The long legs are covered in fitted black pants with no buttons or zippers, just alluring laces at his groin. Silver gothic jewelry adorns his pale wrists and there's rings on his fingers which still bear sharp claw-like nails painted black.

He's still smiling, but he doesn't look a thing like a Cheshire cat or even a monster anymore.

His face is human, _handsome_ with silky black hair that falls over deep set red eyes – _shinigami_ eyes. It brushes against high cheekbones and frames his defined jaw line. The full lips are tinted with black as if to match his dark intents and purposes. His teeth are sharp, grin toothy, and his heart shaped earring shimmers in the dark, like a flirtatious wink.

Light's in a complete state of shock and he has to use all his willpower to stop his jaw from dropping at what now stands in front of him.

What the hell on earth…?

This… _this_…

…**this is Ryuk?**

He's hallucinating, yes that's it, it's _definitely_ some sort of delusion –

"This isn't real…" He whispers to himself.

Ryuk laughs in the same loud way, but with his new look, it doesn't sound annoying, just low and inviting.

"_That_ good, huh? I knew you'd like it…"

Light shakes his head because he's still clinging to disbelief, some sort of denial.

_This isn't real_, he repeats in his mind.

Never in his life had he expected his monstrous death god companion to have a human form! However... even _without_ explanation, it somehow makes sense. Then again it could be because he had gotten past thinking anything in this world is impossible.

He isn't about to admit out loud but yes, there's truth in Ryuk's accusing jeer.

He _did_ like it.

Ryuk looks human at the same time he didn't. The uneven stitched skin, the blood red eyes, his whole looming presence radiates an aura that screams _not from this world_. It's dark appeal dripping with malevolence and evil and Light can't help but want it for himself because that's what it is: the ideal look that belongs to someone like _him_ – perfectly **godlike**. He gazes, envies in silence. The awe is in his eyes.

He's never idolized anyone before but he's seriously stunned at Ryuk's human form.

Phantasmagorical, just incredible…

Ryuk drinks in the look of utmost approval and worship on Light's face, and laughs some more.

"Well, shit Light-o…"

He stalks forward, arms still hanging limply at his side like when was a death god. Light tells himself he's not watching the way Ryuk's hips sway in the confines of the tight pants…

"If I knew you'd react like this, I would have showed you this sort of thing sooner."

He's closing in on the seated teen that's more or less literally floored right now at the unexpected turn of events.

Ryuk's right in front of him and from the angle, gazing down, it looks like Light is kneeling at his feet, bowing to him. It sends a rush of excitement to his human body.

Confusion and anxiety appear on Light's face and Ryuk figures it's not just because of his ever moving closer presence.

There's the L factor here they have to consider.

Talking or even showing reactions while under surveillance is risky…

Ryuk doesn't care though about that or even about L, and decides to talk some more.

"You're probably thinking an insane amount like you always do. 'It's not possible' and all that shit but you know what? I don't really feel like explaining myself – "

" — **Ryuzaki, are you there?"**

Light's rude interruption takes Ryuk by surprise and he feels like pouting. Light just feels restless.

"Yes, I'm here… what is it? Light-kun…"

It's the computer warped voice, the screechy one L uses with Misa, and it instantly annoys Light. Ryuk feels just as bothered, but about something _else_ –

"Aw, REALLY? You're seriously just going to talk to your boyfriend right now?"

It must have escaped Light's notice, because Ryuk's suddenly on the bed as if it's his. He's lying on his back and it provides a provocative display of his half naked human body. The muscles of his stomach are highlighted by the dim light. The black pants are stretched tight and the distinct bulge is disturbingly prominent. The laces shift almost teasingly as the long legs dangle up and down over the edge of the bed.

Light tears his eyes away from the sight. The words finally register in his mind.

_Boyfriend_?

Absolute revolt spreads through him at the simple taunt and though it's obvious he's being teased, he doesn't appreciate it. He ignores the comment, more importantly ignores Ryuk. The death god is pouting and if it had looked dementedly endearing in his original monstrous form, it just looks questionably attractive as a human with such strong physical appeal.

Light grits his teeth and focuses his gaze into the camera. He had only called out to L with the intention to affirm if the dark eyes were watching him at the moment. In no ways did he desire to have an actual conversation with the insufferable sob but now he's forced to rack his mind for something to say -

"…I don't feel so good."

- it's the best he can come up with.

"How do you feel?"

"My body's sore all over. . ."

It's hard to think when Ryuk is just sitting there, listening to him with undivided attention.

"That is unfortunate to hear."

L's voice remains computer warped and Light's not even sure if it's a good or bad thing. As much as he can't stand the emotionless drawl – the high pitched scratchy chibi-version is borderline creepy.

There's an introspective pause on the speaker.

"However, you and I are aware that I cannot do anything to lessen your discomfort…"

Light wants to roll his eyes at that because they are both aware _L could do anything he wants_. Spoiled and selfish like that – just a stupid asshole –

The touch to his shoulder shakes him out of his thoughts and he literally jerks.

Ryuk is sitting up on the bed now, grinning at him because even though the long fingers had barely grazed - he's already a mess. Ryuk is just eager to get on with his plans with the human, but he's annoyed L is now dragged into this.

He gives an exaggerated sigh. "Light always forgets I even exist whenever L opens his damn mouth…"

Brown eyes narrow at the statement. It's an unsaid implication and it isn't true at all - fuck L…

"I'm just wondering why the hell is that... what could is possibly mean?"

Ryuk runs slender clawed finger through black hair, and it falls back just as disheveled as before, back over the dark red eyes burning into Light's.

"Guess I'm kind of jealous? I give you godlike power to KILL, but you still get more excited about a boring ol' human who's best thing ever given to you is a challenge… "

Light ignores him – it's not like he can answer anyway. He remembers he's in mid-conversation with L, tries to think of something he can say that still correlates to the topic at hand and at the same time can inadvertently answer Ryuk.

"I know that… but… _actually,_ I can think of something that'll make me feel a little better."

"What can I do, Light-kun?"

Ryuk sits, watches Light and feels bored again, just slightly left out here. He wants to piss Light off and get his attention back. He knows the perfect way to do it.

_"Actually,"_ he starts, mimicking Light's words. "I take back what I said earlier. L does give you something you like even _more_ than the Death Note…"

The smile on his handsome human face grows wild as he leans over his knees to whisper into Light's ear.

"_He gives you a raging hard-on for his attention - fantasies about the day you bring him down and get on top of him._"

The first part is direct and offensive, the second a vague implication to something just as immoral. Light feels the hot breath against his ear, the closeness of Ryuk, and his initial reaction is to shudder. He suppresses it, mind going back to the words. A sexual insinuation...? He wonders in hysteria how the fuck Ryuk even reached such an offensive conclusion?

He goes back to L -

"Just use your normal voice..."

- and he settles on the idea that the death god – human – _whatever_ is just mind-fucking him, to throw him off. Make him lose his cool, some sort of deranged absent apple impulse.

He stares right into Ryuk's gleaming red eyes leering in front of his own when he speaks next.

"This one… _is creeping me out_."

Ryuk gets his drift right away and he cackles because it's funny how Light blatantly ignores his crude wordings.

"You can't mean that. You can't _really_ make me believe you don't prefer my human form…" He drawls in a cavalier tone before he pauses with mock elucidation, " – but then again, you _do_ have the hots for L, and we both know how _he_ looks like."

Light seethes, sees red, because Ryuk needs to just _shut up_ with that stupid theory.

"I had not realized I was still using the switcher." It's L and then the distinct sound of a button being pressed. "Is this better…?"

His voice is normal, back to the smooth low emotionless drawl and Light doesn't really fucking care at all right now because his mind? It's on Ryuk, completely tripping balls trying to rationalize just what the hell the death god is even trying to gain with the taunting attitude. He said something about a taste - like apples - so what did messing with Light have anything to do with that…?

"You miss his voice? How sweet..." Ryuk's back against the wall, still sitting on the bed but thankfully out of Light's personal space.

He taps a finger to his chin as he considers the appeal of L's voice.

"It's got a boring condescending tone to it all the time but the way it's so deep and smooth…? Yeah, I can admit it could be a turn on…"

He directs his gaze back to Light, eyebrows shooting up and eyes comically wide.

" – _but only if he uses while moaning your name, huh Light-o?"_

Full vexation reverberates through Light's body. He's so frustrated with the stupid jeers! He just wants to pull at his hair, or Ryuk's hair, no way in hell did he want to pull at L's hair! He wants to scream a devastating 'no' with feelings, maybe a rude finger gesture for emphasis on his annoyance, but he can't do anything but reply to L.

"Yes, it's better." He searches wildly for a way to tell Ryuk off, that he doesn't want L to _ever_ 'moan' his name. "Hearing your real voice is more satisfying than anything else."

Ryuk smiles instantly because Light realizes too late that it did not sound quite right.

L's response is delayed.

"...if that is so, then your sentiments take me by surprise. I had no idea Light-kun finds reimbursement within my voice..."

He trails off and Light panics. He knows without a doubt L's taking notes on his strange behavior - that something is going on with him. He's made more facial expression that night than all the others -

"Damn, he's just not interested!" Ryuk gasps out after cackling, voice sadistically happy. Light clenches his jaw.

The dark haired entity bows his head, peering up at Light through dark bangs.

"But I know you are… you don't have to deny it, keep it inside, or even get mad anymore_. I know_."

He scrapes a nail down his own cheek and the skin breaks at the touch.

"I see the look on your face when his name is mentioned, when you're around him, and when you guys talk."

A long pink tongue darts at the blood on his finger and the wound heals a moment later.

"Remember when he was licking that donut and telling you really homo shit like you're his first real friend? Yeah, that's when I could tell you actually _feel_ things for the guy."

His eyes burst with sick delight, and he abruptly leans close to Light's face once more.

"I've been wanting to ask – _how many licks 'til you got all hard in your pants_?"

The amber eyes widen at the accusation. Light's gaping, and he can't even deny the heat in his cheeks.

Ryuk takes in the flushed expression and smirks, moving back again.

"You didn't even react when that Misa girl jumped on you, all over your lap. But with L? He gets you heated in seconds."

The seconds tick by in slow motion and Light refuses to do anything, just sits there and forgets the fact he's not replying to L.

Ryuk's accusations were going overboard already. The continuous verbal attack was so disturbing! They were _annoying!_ But worst of all… they weren't completely full of shit.

"Light-kun?"

L again and he sounds bothered.

"You really don't look well tonight. Perhaps medical attention _is_ necessary – "

" – NO." Light cuts in loudly, "I'm okay, just you know… tired."

_Of this_, he wants to add but instead forces out a nonchalant little laugh. L's only response is silence at the out of place sound.

"He wants you too, you know…" Ryuk murmurs, idly picking at a fingernail before throwing his hand up in the air. "I mean, sixty four cameras in your room?! What a creeper! Hmm... probably gets off just watching you."

Light wants to kick Ryuk in the face, but the only thing he does is blush even more.

"Your face is relatively flushed, notably more color than usual… you also appear to be sweating all over… perhaps a fever…?"

L appears to be deducing aloud and Ryuk is enjoying Light's discomfort.

"Heh, see! Checking you out all the time!" He chides. "But you _love_ the attention – "

"YOU'RE WRONG!"

Light didn't mean to exclaim it, but he's glad it can be taken as a reasonable answer to whatever the hell L was saying.

"There's actually a high percentage there's truth in my assessment..." It's said in a mechanical calculating tone that's why the next thing he says takes Light by surprise. "By any chance... _are you feeling hot_, Light-kun?"

He _does_ feel hot at that and Ryuk howls.

"Whoa, guess I was wrong too…" He's wheezing and clutching at his patched up torso. "Wrong to think such a boring human like that wouldn't act out on whatever fucked up attraction you guys have for each other. Come on, Light-o, even you can't deny that sounded like a typical human come on."

A fiery gaze is thrown at him a second later.

Light wishes looks could kill.

Meanwhile, L takes the lack of answer as a sure fire health decline.

"We have no doctors in our staff, but I am well educated in simple medical measures concerning fevers. I will go there myself and tend to your condition."

Light panics again because the _last_ thing he wants is L to be there with him, with Ryuk - who is hellbent on driving him crazy.

"N-no, Ryuzaki, that won't be necessary…! You don't have to do that – "

"I'm not doing this because I _have_ to. I just do not prefer Kira to die before he is proven guilty."

The mic clicks off and Light knows it's too late. L isn't on the other side anymore, most likely finding some transportation to get him to the cell as soon as possible...

It also means no one is watching the surveillance right now.

It's his chance to lash out at the cause of all this –

...the insufferable _Ryuk!_

He turns his head away from the camera, towards the bed.

From that angle, it appears he's just staring at the wall but in reality, he's face to face with Ryuk.

Light drops his voice to a whisper.

"**What the fuck is wrong with you**?"

It's the best he can come up with as he realizes this is the first time he's actually acknowledging the other in his human form, the new Ryuk…

Light swallows hard, Ryuk's lying on the bed again and the amber eyes try not to run down the exposed torso of the other's body bathing in a dark quixotic glow right in front of him.

"Hmmm… you're talking to me now?" Ryuk turns his head lazily to stare at Light dead on… "Isn't that risky?"

"I don't care right now! I just want you to tell me what's going on. _Why are you doing this to me_?"

"What exactly am I doing to you, Light-o…?"

Light didn't even know where to start.

Why did he even _show_ him his human form? Why is he trying so adamantly to get under Light's skin by throwing indecent insinuations about L…? Ryuk's not supposed to be on anyone's side so why is he suddenly so keen on belittling him like this?

Why? Why? WHY!

"I have no idea!" Light cries out, forgetting to keep his voice down.

Ryuk laughs.

Light narrows his twitching eyes. He's being laughed at!

"Do you think this is funny?" He hisses vehemently. "Because it's not. You're seriously pissing me off..." He jerks at the metal binds against his wrist because he feels like thrashing about, just _so_ angry but _so_ helpless.

He continues ranting in a hysterical tone -

"Death gods suddenly have a human form? _I don't give a fuck_.** You think I _want_ L?** YOU'RE CRAZY."

Ryuk raises an eyebrow.

"If it's not true, then why are you so mad? Why are you so effected?" He blithely jeers.

"I'm not, it 's just annoying! Why… why even say things like that!"

"Because it's true…" Ryuk purrs, his eyes half closed as he moves to lay on his side. The curves of his human body are distracting.

"That's a lie – "

"L's not the only one who's been watching you, Light-o. I have too, remember? And I've decided just by the way you act – _react_ – you **like** him."

"THAT'S NOT FOR YOU TO DECIDE."

"So what if it isn't? It's not like you can do anything about what I think. It's the same with that L of yours. You can't make him do anything… Hey, aren't gods supposed to be able to get anyone on their knees? Light-o can't even _touch_ L…"

"Shut up!"

"– what does that make Light-o…? A god still… or just a _loser_?"

Light freezes at that, refuses to acknowledge Ryuk has a point. He attempts to remain calm, drops his voice to a venom seeped whisper.

"Why do you even care so much all of a sudden?"

Ryuk stares Light down.

It's the most _flustered_ version of the human Ryuk has ever seen. Light's sweating all over, his cream colored skin with a slight shine to it, his cheeks crimson red, thoroughly flushed with anger, and his hazel eyes positively gleam with burning hatred. He looks _delicious,_ Ryuk muses sadistically -_ like an apple -_ and just as forbidden.

"I don't."

The delayed answer is simple, said calmly, but his voice is low, an almost growl, and it's the first time he sounds intimidating, and he sits up from his seductive lying position to loom in on Light.

"But I'm _bored."_

He lifts a finger, points it accusingly at Light.

"...and it's your fault..."

He drags it down the teen's face, not sharp enough to cut the skin, but hard enough to manifest danger.

"It's not like there's anything to do in this cell. It's not like I can just kill you and leave."

The crimson red eyes are impossibly wide now, Ryuk looks completely demented as he leers, fingers abruptly grabbing Light's chin with wild excitement.

"And it's not like I have any apples to eat, right?! So, why don't you satisfy me instead? _Why not give me a taste of your wrath_?"

Light gasps, forcibly jerks his face out of the touch.

"What the - all this just to piss me off?!"

Ryuk gives a shrug, hands back at his side.

"It looked like fun..."

"You're completely sick in the head if this is your idea of fun!"

"Well, not this exactly. It's actually pretty boring so far…"

"Don't fuck with me, Ryuk!" Light snarls ferociously, beyond distressed. "_What the hell do you want?_"

Ryuk just smiles as he sees Light cracking.

He decides he's going to deliver the sinker - the ulterior motive at showing Light his human form.

Days of rotting in the cell combined with days devoid of apples had Light looking very tempting, the next best thing to indulge in. He's not an apple though, he's a human but even if Ryuk never cared much for humanity after being a Death God for so long, he is more than aware that he's always had a thing for the one in front of him.

He's wasted enough time already and it won't be long until L gets there.

Light's already up against the wall so there's no need to shove him to it as Ryuk moves off the bed, crawls over on hands and knees, and in seconds presses black lips against Light's conveniently parted lips.

The kiss is unexpected.

It takes Light by devastating shock. He wants to reel back instantly but he can't - Ryuk's fingers dig into his shoulders, the long sharp nails close enough to cut past the fabric of his shirt if he resists.

He's _trapped._

His heart hammers loudly against his chest, any harder and he thinks it'll burst.

He can't breathe but only because the way Ryuk is kissing him is _taking his breath away_. It's dark hungry desire, and Light even hears Ryuk moan into the kiss, an appreciative sound of sexual pleasure!

It's _revolting!_

This is **Ryuk,** and he's _kissing_ Light, he's a death god, _not even human_, and Light freezes up. He can't allow this! Fuck the surveillance cameras!

Light violently jerks his head to the side at last, successfully breaking the unwanted physical contact. He's breathing hard, sucking the air into his lungs in harsh gulps, amber eyes unfocused. Ryuk's hands aren't pinning the shaken teen anymore but he's still on his knees invading personal space, a dark looming presence. He sits, just stares.

Light doesn't even know how to react. Ryuk is a dead thing for crying out loud! With evil looks and even worst intents, but to Light's horror it's undeniable that his human form doesn't look 'bad' at all, no - it's _sinfully attractive_. It explains why he's not as disgusted as he should be and he screams inside his mind.

"Mmmm… juicy Light-o."

It's deliberate wording to piss him off and the satisfied tone Ryuk is using sends him crashing back to the situation as his anger finally surges through his being in one forceful wave of emotion.

"Do you wanna die?!" Light's voice is shaking. "Why the FUCK did you do that?!"

"Hey, you _asked_ me what I want, remember?"

Ryuk sounds pleased. He looks turned on_. _

"So you get it yet, Light-o? You get what I want?"

**"NO."**

The emotions overwhelm him now - he's angry, distraught, violated -

"Forget I asked! I don't even care anymore!" He cries out, "Just get away Ryuk, and don't fucking talk to me –"

Ryuk isn't listening.

He's leaning close.

Light's breath hitches.

"_You got what I want…_"

Light blanches, tries to process the statement. Judging from the kiss, it's more than obvious Ryuk's hinting at something _sexual._ Combine it with the 'taste' he mentioned he craves for earlier. If he puts two and two together_…_

Oh god.

Light wants to vomit.

Is that it? He wants _him?_ Craves for Light to do things with him…?

He feels disgusted… but not just at the idea, no - it's mostly because he's not as against it and he definitely _should_ be! The realization he's not is beyond unsettling! What the hell is wrong with him?

Ryuk frowns at the unresponsive Light and he hears a distant sound echoing from the long hallway that leads to the cell. A door opening_…_

"Eh, your L will be here soon…" He says sounding put out all of a sudden. He bounces back and forth on his knees, before he gives the other a sly look.

"I'm not too thrilled about it but I bet you are. Did you also miss him treating you like his little bitch?"

Light's seeing red once more because it's that L taunt again.

He's sick of it!

It's the _angriest_ he's felt in a long time and he throws Ryuk a delirious look.

"Seriously? You really won't let it drop? You _still_ think L has power over me? You think he's going to win against a fucking god - against _KIRA?_ Are you out of your damn mind – "

Ryuk raises his hands in defense at the relentless verbal attack of hysteric proportions.

**"Whoa,** that's a lot of questions, Light-o. You need to calm down. I mean, I'm just pointing out that_ so far_, in your 'little battle' - he's dominated you over and over and over."

_"Just shut the fuck up with that stupid crap, Ryuk!"_ Light cuts in.

Ryuk actually goes silent and even though Light is shaking with anger with sweat dripping down his face, he starts to laugh. It's high pitched and maniacal, sounds like absolute insanity. It lasts a couple of seconds before abruptly stops, snaps his head to the side to look at Ryuk with bulging eyes full of cynicism.

"Listen to me Ryuk, I've had enough of you for tonight_. _Enough of this_,_ Ryuk. _I swear to god I'm sick of this_."

He's breathing hard, using the other's name more times than necessary, and repeating himself -

"You said I got what you want earlier, didn't you? _You want a taste of me, Ryuk?"_

It's said in an angry sort of purr and the expression on his face is like he's trying to be sexy while he's currently borderline psychotic. It comes out as disturbing.

Ryuk doesn't answer, a look of disinterest on his face as he realizes he's on the receiving end of the teen's bipolar mood swing.

Light takes his silence as a sign of victory and raves inwardly because _yes,_ he's throwing him off for once!

His loud bark of laughter is condescending, a total 180 from his previous sultry demeanor.

"You're sicker than I thought! But that's too fucking bad, Ryuk!" He exclaims with demented excitement. "Because guess what? _I'm not going to give it you_. That's right, maybe I'll give it to L instead - right in front of you! What do you think about that, huh? Would you like that?"

Ryuk blinks at him slowly and opens his mouth to say something but Light's talking again.

"I'll prove you wrong at the same time I deprive you one more thing you want so much. You deserve this kind of retaliation after treating me like this, don't you?!"

He actually looks like he's waiting for an answer this time so Ryuk gives a shrug, but the smirk is back on his face because it's his doing that Light's totally losing it.

He finally speaks up in a playful tone of voice.

"You know, it's kind of sexy when you talk all psychotic like that but man - humans can be so _delusional…"_

"NO ONE'S DELUSIONAL." Light snaps, heatedly. He nods his head slowly as he talks next.

"It's my turn now, Ryuk. You better be ready for _my_ sick idea of fun because I'm about to give you a _real_ show_…_"

A slasher smile makes its way on his handsome young face giving him the look of an insane demonic angel as his eyes flash red for a brief instant.

"_…_**I'll show you who the fuck is the GOD of this world and who is the fucking loser**_…_"

Silence reigns heavy as they stare each other down.

The moment drags on and with the absence of sound, Light's suddenly painfully aware of how desperate and irrational he's acting. The words had spilled out of his mouth like an automatic retaliation to all the frustration pent up inside of him from the days of confinement. Lack of sleep, malnutrition, the insufferable company of a death god, submitting to L - it's more than enough!

Then Ryuk just had to make things even _worse_ in just one night!

In less than an hour, he's been dragged through an absolute mindfuck! Accused of wanting L and being a loser? Ryuk suddenly being sexually attracted to him and even _kissing_ him! Oh god, it's too much. To feel violated, disgusted, then outright offended to the absolute limit - right after the other?

Then there was that threat he had mindlessly belted out with such conviction that basically left him no choice but to somehow prove himself to Ryuk. He's panicking, because it was all just _talk,_ a fucking bluff, he doesn't actually have any _idea_ how!

Ryuk can practically feel the collision of intense emotions radiating from the teen. He sits down right next to him on the floor, against the wall, and opts to wait for the events to play out... L should be there soon.

His whole body trembles with dark anticipation, the heat palpitating through his veins, under his skin because it's morbidly fascinating to see Light like _this._ He's always so composed and proper, and to see completely mad with utter black insanity on his handsome face?

_Delicious__…_deeply satisfying_…_

_…_even if it isn't Ryuk who's going to get a taste anymore.

He has no idea how Light plans to carry out his bold declarations to overpower L and give him what Ryuk supposedly wants.

Not knowing makes it even more thrilling and one thing is for sure -

-_ this is going to be fun__…_!

* * *

**Author's Note:**

If you've read this far, bless your soul x) I totally made up the death-god-have-human-forms things... LOL! Hm hope its somewhat believable... Honestly, Ryuk's great as he is and all but damn death note would have been completely different if they chose to go with his original design, like my gaad, Ryuk/Light will be practically canon and shit... probably more popular than Light/L.. D:

The next part has all the Light/L... because they love each other! Like YEAH! XD

**Review! :) **


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